Hellfire and Damnation - Missed it by that much

by ./revlinux and da'Moose

Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been ... well, I've never actually been to confession.

In nomine Patris et filli et Spiritus Sancti... what have you done my child?

I went to "Get Smart" this weekend.

The lord does not frown on a simple pleasure such as that... what else has brought you here?

Well, Father I'm not sure how to say this ...

It is alright, my child... all will be right in his house.

But, Father, I ENJOYED it! I actually laughed.

...

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

But... the gospel of Roper has decreed that this movie's name be struck from all history! This is a serious infraction after all, my son.

I knew it! That "overfull barf-bag" bit just wasn't funny, nor the "did you see anything while i was dancing? A little, but you weren't expecting him to lift you so high" or even the ass-ripped-out-of-his-pants and taking-a-bow gag, but I laughed anyway! What's wrong with me?!

You came to the right place. Nothing is wrong with you child, so long as you repent to the lord and ask for his forgiveness. Luckily, his avatar on earth has made movies to watch for just such an occasion.

Oh, Father, I'll do any penance to correct this egregious mistake!

Go home and do nothing until you watch "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace" five times without skipping the Jar Jar scenes ... Watch "The Piano" extended edition four times, and the extended director's release of "Titanic" twice, WITHOUT cheering for the iceberg by the end. Do this, and you will be atoned, in the name of the father, son, and holy spirit, amen.

As you wish, Father ...

Go with god, my son.

... Father, one last thing ... could i still give a "w00t!" when Leo DiCaprio dies?

Yes, but quietly to yourself ... no one can fault you for that.