da'moose on Transformers

Transformers... What to say.

Overall, not a bad movie. As would be expected from a Michael Bay movie, the action sequences are fast and in-your-face 110% of the time. Except, this time, it's with giant, bullet-time flipping robots. Hell yeah! The eye candy was quite pleasant as well, with Megan Fox being the definite bombshell this round.... *rawr*. Plus, they got a couple things right for us old-timers, such as using the original voice for Optimus, and incorporating the old shape shifting sound from the cartoon. I was also highly amused by the shot they got in on the current administration. World falling down around you, attacks on your bases in the middle east, unknown very hostile enemy... "Could you rustle me up some ding dongs?" LOL.

However. Everything is not well in CGI land. Perhaps it was merely a modernization of a cliche, but giant alien robots learning our language from the internet (as opposed to TV signals, or radio signals before that) was kind of lame. Hearing Optimus using colloquialisms like "my bad" just didn't sit right either, coming from the very proper leader of the Autobots.

The worst part, though, was the blatant and near-repugnant GM "re-branding" of the Autobots was pathetic as well. I mean c'mon. Can you say "sell-out"? I knew you could. The movie did try to pay homage to Bumblebee's more humble beginnings, but it doesn't cover the truth. This advertisement scheme went WAAAAAAAAAAAY beyond having a can of pepsi or bag of doritos in the background. The movie should have been titled "Transformers - now brought to you, humbly and quietly, by GEEEEEEENERRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAALLLLL MOOOOOOOOOOTOOOOOOOOOOOORS!!!!!". Perhaps they could have gotten Michael Buffner to do the entrance theme. WTF?! The Decepticons weren't much better. Wasn't Starscream a F15? When did he get "upgraded" to a F22 Raptor? When did Devastator become a tank, and not the huge amalgam of the constructacons? When the hell did Megatron become some wacked out jet, and not the gun? (Note: I understand the reasoning of this as posed by other movie blogs, but it's still fsck'ing lame)

I know, you can't ask much from hollywood these days, but damn.