die hardester - *NEW* with teh intarwebs

so, where do i start? no, really. I have a dilemma. do i open with "yippie kai yay?" or do i save that for the end? i'm torn. i really wanted to start this off with some kind of punch. but is "yippee ki yay?" just TOO cool? is there even such a thing as being too cool?

i believe that there is.

for example police constable nicholas angel. now THERE'S a cool guy. so cool that he was asked to transfer because he made all the other constables look like crap. he's just better. i mean please, 400% better!?! so much better that they made him a seargant in a sleepy little country town. nothing ever happens in this town.

now, i told you that, so i can tell you this:

john mclane makes nicholas angel look like a british school-girl! that's right constable, er ... seargant angel, you are a wuss! sorry, but facts are facts. let's run this down:

angel - stabbed in the hand. - "the single most painful experience of my life"

mclane - shot. 6,154 times. - "ouch"

mclane - kills hot terrorist chick - "mai? asian chick, likes to kick people? yeah, last time i saw her she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an suv rammed up her ass."

angel - after watching mclane in die hard - "well, i wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no holds barred, adrenaline fueled thrill ride. but, there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork."

angel - shortcut through the gardens - "what, you've never taken a shortcut before?"

mclane - driving an eighteen-wheeler through (yes through!) a concrete column. all the while getting shot up by a man in a fighter plane. - "is that the best you got?!"

angel - the most important piece of equipment to own. - "this notebook has saved my skin more times than i care to mention!"

mclane - blowing up a helicopter with a car - "i was out of bullets"




john mclane, you are the man

yippie kai yay, john.

yippie.
kai.
yay.