Speed who?!?

I have a review for Speed Racer. Here it is:

Speed Racer is a fantastic trip into the WRL (World Racing League). I know it's a fictional organization, but that doesn't matter. The WRL is full of color and life. It is a world of fast cars and hot women. Racers that believe in the thrill, and cheaters that will do anything to win. Family race shops who believe in honor, and big corporate sponsors who only believe in money. It is a world that I really, really want to believe in.

Really, this world is great! If you still need convincing, I have three words for you: Trixie, Trixie, Trixie. That's where it's at. She is perfect. She can fly a chopper. She can drive. And she's really hot. Speed doesn't deserve her.

I'm going to interrupt myself here and get to the point: I think Pops Racer's middle son, Speed is just the pretty poster boy.

You read that right, Speed is second fiddle in my book. The real hero of this story is a little boy and his chimp. Well, maybe not so much the chimp, but Spritle kicks serious butt. He never loses his way, never falls for Royalton's tricks, and he always knows what's important. Granted what's important to him is racing and food, and not always in that order. He braved Royalton's wrath again and again. He saved Speed form ninjas. NINJAS.

So, my hat's off to ya Spritle. Speed may have won the race, but you get the trophy!

As i finished this, I got a visit from Rick James' ghost. He jumped onto my couch, got dirt all over it. I asked "who the heck are you?!?" He slapped me and called me "b*tch". The exact words he used were "Never mind who you thought I was ... I'm Rick James, b*tch!", and was immediately followed by "Cocaine is a hell of a drug! And your review is all wrong! Let me help with that, b*tch!" He slapped me away from the keyboard, called me "b*tch" again and typed this:

Speed Racer iz uh fantastic trip into da WRL (World Racing League). I know it'suh fictional organization, but dat don' matter. The WRL iz full o' color an' life. It iz uh world o' fast cars an' hot biAtchez. Racers dat believe in da thrill, an' cheaters dat will do anyfin' ta win. Family race shops who believe in honor, an' big corporate sponsors who only believe in money. It iz uh world dat I really, really wants ta believe in.

Really, dis here world iz great! If ya still need convincing, I gots three werdz fo' you: Trixie, Trixie, Trixie. That'swhere it'sat. She iz perfect. She can fly uh chopper. She can cruize. And she'sreally hot. Speed don' deserve her.

I'm going ta interrupt myself here an' git ta da point: I th'o't Pops Racer'smiddle son, Speed iz just da fine ass poster boy.

You read dat right, Speed iz second fiddle in muh ma f&$#in book. The real hero o' dis here story iz uh little boy an' his chimp. Well, maybe not so much da chimp, but Spritle kicks serious booty. He never loses his way, never falls fo' Royalton'stricks, an' he always knows what'simportant. Granted what'simportant ta him iz racing an' chickn n` corn bread, an' not always in dat order. He braved Royalton'swrath ag'in an' ag'in. He saved Speed form ninjas. Ma f&$#in NINJAS!!

So, muh ma f&$#in hat'soff ta ya Spritle. Speed may gots won da race, but ya git da trophy! and s@#t.

Thank you Rick James' ghost! (please don't slap me again)