happy feet? not-so-much

who all here has seen happy feet ?? c'mon raise your hands up high. good, both my readers haven't.

let me save you some time and trouble: DON'T!

it sucks. it could be worse, but not by much. i mean really, who for love of Kal-El picks these things for awards?!? NINE wins & TWELVE nominations!? including an OSCAR!! that's just wrong.

first i want to point out that penguins need "heartsongs."

"In the cold land of Antarctica, the Emperor Penguins each express their true love with a special heartsong of their own that expresses their very being." - from IMDB plot summary

but does it have to be "the message" by grandmaster flash? where would an emperor penguin hear that anyway? (EDIT: i just found out that seymour is voiced by rapper fat joe. one mystery solved.)

fine, i suspend disbelief when it comes to penguins singing new and classic pop songs. but there's more:

Norma Jean: You don't have to be beautiful, to turn me on. I just need your body, baby.
Male Penguin #1: Hello...
Norma Jean: From dusk 'til dawn.
Male Penguin #1: Is it me you're lookin' for?
Norma Jean: You don't need experience.
Male Penguin #2: Take...
Norma Jean: To turn me out.
Male Penguin #2: These broken wings.
Norma Jean: You just leave it all up to me.
Male Penguin #3: Let's talk about eggs, baby. Let's talk about you and me.
Norma Jean: Mm-mm, mm-mm. You don't have to be rich to be my pearl. Don't have to be cool to rule my world. Ain't no particular song I'm more compatible with. I just want your...
[turns to the huge crowd of males following her]
Norma Jean: Boys, boys! Give a chick a chance!
Memphis: [appearing on the crest of a hill] Well, since my baby left me I found a new place to dwell. It's down at the end of Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel. And I said, I'm feelin' so lonely, baby. I'm feelin' so lonely.
Norma Jean, Memphis: I'm feelin' so lonely...
Norma Jean: ...I could die.
Memphis: You don't have to be rich to be my girl.
Norma Jean: Don't have to be cool to rule my world.
Memphis: You rule my world.
Norma Jean: You're the particular song I'm compatible with.
Memphis: I just want your...
Norma Jean, Memphis: ...extra time... and your kiss.
(quoted from IMDB)

ahhh, much better. here they butcher a classic, an 80's tune, and a pop song by the one who used to be named with a freaky symbol, dance and sing about sex ... um, gross.

second is the whole "we need to stop global warming" and "we need to eat more farmed fish" environmental aspect of this movie. i agree with a few things brought up in this movie, but please, is this the right place to do it? does my three-year-old really know what you're talking about?

third is the i-don't-have-to-conform-and-you-can't-make-me oops-i-have-been-captured-and-put-into-the-zoo-and-now
i-am-losing-my-mind sequence. it was really kinda scary. i think it was a little too "one flew over the cool hand" for my taste.

there is one redeeming moment i all of this, "A Happy Feet Moment." an additional scene that comes on the disc.

let me quote comingsoon.net :

A Happy Feet Moment – In this very brief scene, Mumble's father kicks him around like a soccer ball, then boots him into the ocean. That's about it.

so, if you are into animated penguins singing, dancing and a heavy-handed environmental message about over-fishing; go get this movie. but if you have had your quota of environmental preaching, or don't enjoy seeing classic music butchered in new and painful ways, stay away.