What "Happened" was I lost $8 and 2 hours...

So, the first night of this week's dual movie extravaganza was "The Happening". Have you ever been confronted by something so terrible you were at a loss to describe it? This movie was worse than Strangers. This movie was worse than Revlinux's eulogy of same.

***Spoiler alert ***

Basically, there's some toxin in the air that makes people kill themselves. And it's being created by plants when there's more than a few humans around. No, I'm not making this up. So basically, the wind picks up and people lay down in traffic. But the dumb story is just the beginning! It's coupled by poor acting and really stupid dialogue! When Marky Mark called himself a douchebag, one of the douchebags in the theatre yelled "I'm done" and promptly left the theatre. So, congrats M. Night Shymalin (Shamu? Shyster? Screw it... you can't write, no reason I should), you've actually fallen beneath the bar set by a high school student in flip flops. He looked like the type of idiot who goes to Keanu Reeves movies and cheers when he says "Whoa!" Anyway, save your money. Or go see a good movie. The Incredible Hulk was quite good. Kung Fu Panda also kicked major ass, and awesomeness is free of charge!