RevLinux a.k.a president of the "I HATE BEN STILLER FAN CLUB"

Dear Potential Member:

Thank you for your interest in I.H.B.S.F.C. My name is RevLinux, and I love movies. It is a great hobby, and I'm sure you already know, it is a sacred hobby. I like movies of all kinds. Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, Drama, Stoner Movies, and even Foreign Films.

Ben Stiller is to movies like thinking is to religion. I have found better acting in a YouTube video of a 2nd grade play. The man needs to stop right-fracking-now!

But, the worst thing he has ever done, my friend, is to make a good movie! He wrote and directed it even. (I always thought that Ben Stiller was as useful in the writers' room as a centipede with 98 missing legs.) How dare he do such a vile thing. Tropic Thunder was a laugh-riot. I will never forgive him. WE shall never let him live this down. He has made our lives here at I.H.B.S.F.C. a living hell. Our membership has plummeted. Our geek cred is no more.

Following are a list of rules pulled right from the Tropic Thunder section of our charter:

  • Members shall never mention having seen Tropic Thunder.
  • Members shall never talk about the perfect cast that was put together for the Movie Tropic Thunder. Robert Downey Jr. playing an Australian playing a black man is priceless and a forbidden topic. Jack Black's performance as a doped out Eddie Murphy-esqe comedy actor will never grace our message boards.
  • Admitting the brilliance of the writing in Tropic Thunder is expressly forbidden and will get a member banned for life. Not one word is to be spoken about the Jack Black tied to a tree scene. Or the Downey Jr. Jefferson's theme song moment. Or the "I killed the one thing I love the most" "OK, you killed a hooker. Here's what you do ... " bit.
  • Tom Cruise is a minor god among actors, it's OK to mention his performance.
  • Ben Stiller is a Baby Thrower! (no, this isn't some code or euphemism, he literately throws babies)
  • There shall be no quoting the lines "I only know what sound it makes when it takes a man's life" and "mother nature just pi$$ed her pants, dude!" and "I'm a lead farmer, motherf*cker!" or even "I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!"
  • Never, EVER, go full retard.

As you can see, we take things very seriously here at I.H.B.S.F.C. and I hope to see you at our meetings soon.

Thank you again for your interest!

./RevLinux